Josh Hawley blows up ‘lie’, instigated riot as Missouri newspaper calls him ‘FrankenHawley’ (Newsweek) =
Fiery Trump’s ally is sick on the air! Swine was insane when a stern crowd hijacked the Capitol!
(Maurice Goddard in Anagram Instances)
We have been scrambling lots currently at The Fashion Invitational, because of the eagerness of anagram followers within the Losers neighborhood. A number of months in the past, we had a track title and track lyrics anagram contest; Now, on the suggestion of loser Jonathan Jensen, we flip to a different common supply of Fodder Invitations: This week: Choose a headline (or a part of a headline) from any print or on-line publication dated February 11-22 and rearrange all of its letters into an anagram, as within the above examples posted this week in the occasions of Anagram, a repeatedly up to date assortment of title anagrams submitted by readers underneath the fantastic umbrella of Wordsmith.org, which additionally publishes Anu Garg’s digital e-newsletter A phrase. In the future (one of many Empress’s favorites) and – please use this when you enter – the handy-dandy Anagram checker: You copy within the textual content you create an anagram, then your anagram, and the software program does a cheerful little dance if the anagram is legitimate. Though you can’t add or omit letters in your anagram, you should utilize capitals and punctuation nonetheless you need. With the unique title and anagram, point out the identify and date of publication; whether it is on-line, please present a hyperlink so the E can discover it.
Submit as much as 25 entries to wapo.st/enter-invite-1423 (no capital letters within the net deal with). The deadline is Monday February 22; the outcomes seem March 14 in print and March 11 on-line.
The winner will get the Clownish success, our Fashion Invitational trophy. Second place receives the Butt Station, a nifty desk set consisting of a tape dispenser within the form of a inexperienced humanoid Gumbyish sitting on a rest room. The bathroom bowl works like a paper clip holder – particularly as a result of Not Gumby’s butt has a magnet to carry the clips. The Empress has one on her personal desk within the Put up’s at present very lonely newsroom; this one was donated by loser Steve Smith.
Conversational fashion: The Empress’ weekly on-line column covers every new contest and set of outcomes. See this week’s posts, Thursday, February 11, at wapo.st/conv1423.
The “You are Invited” podcast: Ten half-hour episodes, together with a dish from the Empress and the Tsar, and ideas from the most effective losers. See bit.ly/invite-podcast.
Invoice turns into LOL: the “ joint laws ” of week 1419
Week 1419 was our biennial competitors through which you create “frequent laws” by combining the names of latest members of Congress. The Empress hopes they might be so productive on Capitol Hill: She has obtained over 2,000 “payments,” lots of which embody Torres-Ossoff, and a really massive variety of them with Rep. Donalds.
It helps to learn payments aloud (perhaps repeatedly) and naturally know the way the names are pronounced: Consultant again to Congress. Issa is pronounced EYE-sa; Gimenez is HIM-e-nes; be p. Herrell is kind of near Launch.
The Moore-Greene-Salazar-Bon Act forces recent leafy greens into faculty lunch packages. (Pia Palamidessi, Cumberland, Maryland)
The Mann-Jones-Metal-Owens-Moore Decision deploring the perpetual incapability to observe neighbors. (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Virginia; Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Michigan)
[Man, Jones still owns more]
And the winner of the clown success:
The Bordeaux-Gimenez-Torres Resolved, limiting lengthy uncles on Thanksgiving to twenty minutes most. (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Maryland)
[Bored o’ him and his stories]
Dork Barrel Laws: Honorable Mentions
The Newman-Bice-Moore-Tiffany Take motion to outline the minimal engagement ring sizes for future spouses. (Pam Sweeney, Burlington, Massachusetts)
[New man buys . . .]
The Mann-Torres-Spartz-Good Decision discouraging the observe of barbed wire. (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia)
The Herrell-Harshbarger-Fischbach rule that in case your Massive Mac makes you sick, you will get a free Web. (Kathy White, Fairfax, Virginia, a primary offender; Dan Helming, Trenton, NJ)
The Jacobs-Lummis-Jacobs Take motion to stop the taking of property from house owners in underserved areas. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Virginia)
[Jacob’s slum is Jacob’s]
The Issa-Tiffany-Herrell-Bordeaux Take motion to encourage teenagers to alert a trusted grownup when a good friend is abusing alcohol. (Seth Tucker, Washington)
[I saw Tiffany . . .]
The Good-Hinson-Bush Legislation requiring all police investigations to verify for clues behind landscaping. (Danielle Nowlin, Fairfax Station, Virginia)
The Mann-Fallon-Owens-Good Act by endorsing the doctrine of unique sin. (Steve Langer, Chevy Chase, Maryland)
[Man fallen; no one’s good]
The Fallon-Issa-Keller Legislation requiring sidewalks to be salted through the snow season. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Virginia)
[Fall on ice: a killer]
The Fallon-Metal-Good Legislation enshrining the five-second rule in regulation. (Eric Nelkin, Silver Spring, Maryland)
[Fallen, still good]
The Fitzgerald-Good Take motion to reshape President Ford’s statue within the Capitol with a better-fitting costume. (Hannah Seidel, Alexandria, Virginia)
The Good-herrell Take motion to reverse all govt orders from the earlier administration, as a result of generally you simply want a Good-Herrell to really feel higher and transfer on. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines)
The Hinson-Fischbach-Fallon-Mann-Spartz The regulation instructs male legislators on the correct methodology of “Tuck in your shirt” alone with a reporter in a lodge room. (Frank Osen, Pasadena, CA)
The Moore-Hickenlooper-Pfluger Proclamation that greater than no matter is healthier than yesterday’s covfefe. (John Name, Frederick, MD, a primary offender)
The GOP-sponsored Franklin-Jackson The regulation permits for a one-time stimulus fee of $ 120. (Frank Mann, Washington; Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore)
The Torres-Ossoff Legislation to compensate former Vice President Mike Pence for what Senator Harris did to him throughout their debate. (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Maryland)
The Moore-Clyde-Metal Take motion to fund a breeding program for Budweiser horses. (Fred Shuback, Silver Spring, Maryland)
The Bordeaux-Metal-Nehls Jail Mattress Reform Act. (David Peckarsky, Tucson)
[Board of steel nails]
The Bordeaux-Jacobs-Williams Take motion to encourage extra unique boy names. (Pamela Love, Columbia, Maryland)
The Donalds-Good-Bice Assertion that we actually do not care that the door hits him on the way in which out. (Kevin Dopart, Washington)
The Good-Bordeaux-Manning ECI Reform Act. (Dudley Thompson, Cary, NC; Chris Doyle, Denton, Texas)
The Bowman-Bordeaux-Boebert BananaFannaFoeFert FeeFieFoeFert Boebert Take motion to scale back pointless insults. (Scott Straub, Winchester, Virginia)
The Ross-Nehls Take motion to serve snail sushi within the Congress cafeteria. (Duncan Stevens; Jesse Frankovich) [Raw snails]
The Bentz-Nehls Take motion to straighten the snail. (Mark Raffman)
The Salazar-Mrvan Take motion to acquire a fleet of bulletproof vans. (George Thompson, Springfield, Virginia)
[Sell us armor van]
The Jones-Jacobs-Hickenlooper-Spartz Decision stating: “That is type of my identify too.” (Sarah Walsh)
The Bice-Kim Legislation promote fat-free milk. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Maryland; Jonathan Jensen)
The Fallon-Herrell-Keller-Kelly-Malliotakis-Marshall-Miller-Tuberville-Williams Assertion, telling the previous chief instigator to go 2L. (William Verkuilen, Brooklyn Park, Minnesota)
Nonetheless in progress – deadline Monday February 15: our phrase recreation contest so as to add a “collaborator” to a film, track, and so forth., then change the title. See wapo.st/invite1422.
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